Thursday, October 2, 2008

A Letter from Monkey

Dear Internets,

Hello! As you can see, I am a highly advanced Monkey who is typing this blog entry right now. All by myself. Ignore that giant hand! Yes, yes, this is actually Mr. Zookeeper's laptop, but I've been very busy conducting my Very Important Scientific Research (V.I.S.R.) which leaves little time for making money. Like so many academics, I find that my funding is somewhat limited. So my very own laptop is going to have to wait awhile.

I'm sure you realize, Internets, that for someone who is three months old I have a very busy schedule. My resident photographers and videographers have been kind enough to document some of my very exciting activities today for posterity. (Although I am seriously considering hiring some replacements because their skills of a photographer are sort of lacking).

This has been a very exciting couple of weeks because I have made many new discoveries. The biggest breakthrough is that my eyes are working together now so I finally have binocular vision and depth perception. Whew! Now I can grab all sorts of things with one hand (currently, I prefer the left hand for grabbing). In addition to my regular schedule of eating, napping and exersaucing, today we read some books. Brown Bear Brown Bear and Snuggle Puppy. I like the pictures in Brown Bear and the song that Mrs. Zookeeper sings in Snuggle Puppy. Strangely enough, our copy of Brown Bear seems to be missing 2 pages, so the White Dog only appears at the end! I will need to conduct some more V.I.S.R. on that.

After a trip to the local library, sending some presents to my new friends in Massachusetts, and flirting with all the elderly ladies at the grocery store, I did some Pondering. I Ponder many things, but today's topic was, will my hair actually come in red? Or is this just a strawberry phase? What do you think, internets?



Then, I supervised Mrs. Zookeepers activities in the kitchen for awhile. She's not that interesting in the kitchen, so I also did some V.I.S.R. on String Theory. My theory is that I like to play with the string. Also, it is good to look at. I like to refer to my Bumbo seat as my Laboratory. You know, like, la-BOAR-a-tree. It's the most scientific way to say it.










When Mrs. Zookeeper was done in the kitchen, I retired to my Boppy only to discover that my airspace was being invaded by teddy bears! If this activity continues I will open diplomatic relations with the teddy bears and begin trade negotiations. I like to carry my rattle as a symbol of my peaceful intentions.


When I was born, my Grandpa T said that my long fingers would destine me to a career as a pianist. Since the Zoo houses a piano from Grandma and Grandpa K, I have been practicing diligently. No one is paying me for my concerts yet, but surely that day is very near. I like to add my vocal stylings as well. You know, for the ladies.



Well, Internets, that is as much V.I.S.R. and artistic excellence as I can fit in one day. I must go now and practice my swimming so that I can defeat Michael Phelps' paltry Olympic records.

Until then, I wish you all an evening of political excitement.

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Good Night.

-Monkey

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