Monkey: "Mommy and Daddy are taller than me because they drink so much blood. The blood is full of protein. And they have the white cookies too and those are full of protein."
Grandpa: "Can you have the blood and the cookies?"
Monkey: "No I am not big enough yet but when I drink some cows milk I will get bigger because it has lots of protein."
Later that night...
Mrs. Z to Mr. Z: "Honey, your son is telling people that we're vampires. Are you listening?"
Monkey: "NO! Only boys can be vampires!"
Mrs. Z: "Why can't girls be vampires?"
Monkey: "Because boys can be something anything they want, but girls can only be hot girls."
Mrs. Z: "Girls can be anything they want to be, just like boys."
Mr. Z: "Except for priests."
Mrs. Z: (makes sound to indicate dying inside)
Rest assured we will be having many conversations about both Catholicism and gender equality over the next week, and our hopes for the future on both counts.
(Sobbing with tears in the middle of Jo-Ann Fabrics) "NOOOOO I don't want to go up in space! I don't want to go to Mars!"