Dear Interwebs,
I have been very busy lately with several exciting experiments. Unfortunately my camera crew is not nearly quick enough to document all of them, which I find most distressing. How will I preserve my discoveries for posterity without photo evidence?? Seriously, interwebs. Seriously.
They did manage to capture one of my most brilliant new methodologies: advanced utensil manipulation protocol, or AUMP. Unfortunately, this video is several weeks old so it does not reflect the true measure of my mastery, but I think you get the general idea:
I do like to switch hands often, but I generally have more success with the right hand.
Other new discoveries include the phrases: "What's that?" and "Me do" as well as pinpointing the locations of head, shoulders, knees, belly, feet, toes, ears, nose, and mouth. I am getting closer to eyes but for the sake of safety have decided to use a more lateral marker for the time being. I am very sad to see the end of swimming season, but to console myself in the meantime I have decided to practice floating in the bathtub. It is coming along brilliantly.
This morning involved a very exciting project involving the sleeping jail and my new favorite things in the whole wide world: Allen wrenches!! Interwebs, I could Allen wrench or screwdrive all day long. Do you have any home improvement projects that involve Allen wrenches or screwdrivers? I am available to assist you, if so. Making the connection between tool and bolt is very difficult and requires the concentration of a master. How lucky for you that I willing to instruct you in these complicated techniques!
And now, I must don my disguise for trickery at the Zoo. Obviously I can not tell you what this disguise is, but I will give you a hint: there won't be any of these creatures in the zoo habitats!
I bid you good day, Interwebs.
-Monkey
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